Are you trying to determine if someone in your life suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder? You will find that diagnosis is a very complex question even for a PhD psychologist. There are no simple behavioral checklists. To have Borderline Personality Disorder, there is usually a dysfunctional pattern of handling emotional stress that dates all the way back into the teen years.
It is estimated that there are 18 million husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, and children affected by Borderline Personality Disorder. Few even know about it or are in treatment - but they know they struggle. Borderline Personality Disorder is a difficult disorder of the emotions and of self worth.
What is going in a Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer's mind and how they are outwardly acting can be two different things. To the sufferer, BPD is about deep, often too difficult to express, feelings that are something along the lines of(1):
- If others really get to know me, they will find me rejectable and will not be able to love me; and they will leave me;
- I need to have complete control of my feelings otherwise things go completely wrong;
- I have to adapt my needs to other people's wishes, otherwise they will leave me or attack me;
- I am an evil person and I need to be punished for it;
- Other people are evil and abuse you;
- If someone fails to keep a promise, that person can no longer be trusted;
- If I trust someone, I run a great risk of getting hurt or disappointed;
- If you comply with someone's request, you run the risk of losing yourself;
- If you refuse someone's request, you run the risk of losing that person;
- I will always be alone;
- I can't manage by myself, I need someone I can fall back on;
- There is no one who really cares about me, who will be available to help me, and whom I can fall back on;
- I don't really know what I want;
- I will never get what I want;
- I'm powerless and vulnerable and I can't protect myself;
- I have no control of myself;
- I can't discipline myself;
- My feelings and opinions are unfounded;
- Other people are not willing or helpful.
(1)BPDFamily Staff Production included anonymous members Elphaba, LAPDR, ForeverDad, NewLifeForHGG, United for Now, and Skip, community leaders with professions in healthcare, education, and business.
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